Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

I’d like to touch on the subject of the effects of verbal and emotional abuse on women. The two are closely connected since being verbally abused can cause emotional trauma.

This article will also give some tips on what you can do to minimize the effect that verbal and emotional abuse may have. I’ll also discuss the following:

• The long-term effects of emotional abuse
• How verbal and emotional abuse can affect an individual physically (the physical manifestation of aforementioned abuse)

Forms of Abuse

Abuse can come in many forms such as physical, emotional, sexual and verbal abuse being some of the more recognized forms of abuse. Some even hold the idea that if the abuse cannot physically be seen, then how can it be abuse?

Unfortunately, this misconception is more evident than originally thought. Usually, physical abuse is measured by the amount, rate and severity of the bruising. But how then is emotional or verbal abuse measured?

Emotional and verbal abuse have short-term as well as long-lasting effects on the victim. They are just as serious as physical abuse although it cannot be noted physically.

Verbal and emotional abuse includes isolation, exerting control over the victim, insults and attempts to scare. In a previous article, 5 Types of Hidden Verbal Abuse, I listed and explained the following types of verbal abuse that anyone can look out for:

• Gaslighting
• Silent treatment
• Countering
• Judging and criticizing as types of abuse
• Forgetting

Please take the time to go through some of these to establish whether you, or someone you know might be a victim of verbal abuse.

A Few Statistics

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 48.4% of women have experienced at least one form of emotional abuse by an intimate partner. For men, this number is 48.8%.

Forty percent of both men and women have experienced controlling behavior by an intimate partner. Verbal and emotional abuse can happen to anyone, not just women. They can happen to men and children too.

Ninety five percent of men who physically abuse their partners, also verbally and emotionally abuse them.

Long-Term Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

Well, there are long-term effect of verbal abuse on women, as well as men. There might be slight differences in the way men deal with psychological abuse than women. Therefore, this article has its focus on women who suffer from verbal and emotional abuse.

According to the NACDV, these forms of abuse cause long-term damage to the victim’s mental health. They may experience:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder
• Suicidal ideation
• Low self-esteem
• Have difficulty trusting others
• Social withdrawal and isolation
• Chronic pain

Another shocking fact is that psychological abuse increases the trauma experienced from physical and sexual abuse.

Verbal abuse can be confusing since the abuse may not occur all the time. The abuse may happen slowly and over time and will be subtle at first.

Consequently, the abuser may even be loving, gentle and kind at times causing the victim to forget about the negative behavior. The victim may end up not noticing the pattern of abuse and will most likely end up making excuses for the negative behavior of the abuser.

How To Tell If You’re Being Verbally or Mentally Abused

If you are wondering whether or not you are being abused either mentally or verbally, then you probably are. However, if you are wondering what to look at for, you can identify if your partner does any of the following:

• Threaten to harm (you, a family member, loved one or a pet)
• Make you feel worthless and tells you that no one else will love you the way s/he does?
• Exert control over you and your behavior. They may track your movements throughout the day
• Make demeaning remarks in public and when others are around
• Blame you when things go wrong
• Make you feel guilty over things you have no control over
• Constantly criticize you
• Isolation from friends and family

What Can Be Done to Minimize The Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

Always remember that it is your body, your mind and your life. Therefore, you have full control over what you will and will not accept from others. You do not ever have to accept any form of abuse for love.

The moment that you have to give up control over your own self for love, it is no longer love. Love does not and should not make you feel less-than, humiliated or worthless.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, there are a few things you can do. However, I recommend doing these at the start of any relationship. There’s no need to wait for abuse to start before doing these.

Set Clear Boundaries

In an article, 5 Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries for Relationships, I mention why it’s important to set these boundaries beforehand.

The 5 boundaries that should be set are:

1. Identity outside of the relationship
2. Accepting help
3. Letting your partner know when you are uncomfortable and what it is that makes you feel that way
4. Stand up for yourself especially in arguments or heated moments
5. Protect your right to privacy

Limit Exposure

Limiting exposure can only happen after the abuse has started. This may be difficult to do in some cases as most women of abuse have already pushed friends and family away at the demand of the abuser.

But, if possible, get out and spend time with family and friends who treat you right. Even though you may have pushed them away, they will still be there when you need them most.

Take this time to re-evaluate your relationship.

End The Relationship

It may not feel like it, but it’s the right thing to do. The abuse may never end and the abuser will likely beg for you to stay and claim that they have changed.

Things may go well for a short while before the abuse continues. Unfortunately, these individuals need to control someone and they need to feel like others are dependent on them. It’s not healthy. Get out.

Seek Help

The best thing you can do is to seek help. Healing from emotional and verbal abuse may not be something you can do on your own. Especially not if you’re suffering from trauma.

Reach out for support from a friend or family member who is a really good listener. They may be able to help with processing your emotions and developing healthy coping skills.