It’s a new year. New you, right? But how? How should you go about staying on track with your fitness journey? What exercises should you do and why? What benefit is there to you besides staying fit and being physically healthy? In fitness and wellness I aim to answer these questions and uncover new ones.
In this section I aim to give you a different perspective on training. A holistic view. Fitness is not just about getting fit, in shape and eating healthy. There is a mind-body connection involved. Fitness and wellness should be about a healthy lifestyle and mind.
This section will also include inspirational articles on athletes and news surrounding a sport. I want this space to be a place where we can share our thoughts, views and struggles surrounding fitness and wellness.
Self-acceptance is to fully accept yourself, characteristics, personality and everything that makes you YOU. We can (sometimes) get so stuck inside our own heads that we forget to take it easy on ourselves. Afterall, we’re still human.
Self-acceptance is important for a whole range of reasons, mostly relating to our mental health and personal wellbeing. However, all of this ultimately ties in with us becoming our best selves and continuously improving and growing as individuals.
What is Self Acceptance?
It should be a no-brainer that self-acceptance is accepting yourself for who and what you are. Self-acceptance also means accepting all your attributes and skills whether positive or negative.
There should be no discrimination from your side about accepting only certain parts of yourself. It’s accepting your whole self and being “okay” with it. Sometimes people feel like they are terrible people and have done terrible things.
I get that too. We feel like we have these terrible traits (along with the good) and we don’t know what to do about them. But that’s just the thing. It’s about accepting reality for what it is. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you like or enjoy that reality.
It’s about accepting yourself and acknowledging what you’ve done regardless if you agree with it or not. By no means do you have to appreciate or celebrate every aspect of yourself.
Why is Self-Acceptance Important?
Self-acceptance is fundamental to our overall wellbeing and mental health. This may be due to a link that exist between mental health and low levels of self-acceptance.
Having a low self-acceptance can have an affect on daily tasks, work, relationships and wellbeing. Here are a few reasons why you should take self-acceptance serious:
Being Honest About Your Strengths and Weaknesses
By accepting yourself you’re also accepting both your strengths and weaknesses. But before you can accept your strengths and weaknesses you have to be honest about them.
Self-acceptance enables us to be open and honest and understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. This in turn creates a more positive attitude toward who we really are creating the opportunity for personal growth.
Improves Self Image
By being honest with yourself about who and what you are, your characteristics and personality, you are taking the first steps toward self-acceptance and improving your overall self-image.
You can gain a more accurate and stronger sense of self image once you accept who you are (fully). It also ties in with a higher sense of confidence. It gives us a better understanding of our perceived negative qualities and that these don’t define us or form part of our self-worth.
Prevents Us From Holding Us Back
Basically, when we accept ourselves we gain a more positive self-image and gain confidence. By being more confident in ourselves we are also more “ready” to take action.
We know where our strengths and weaknesses are, therefore we know in which areas we need to work harder on. We know where to improve and what are capabilities are.
It also means that we have a more realistic view of our goals and will take the necessary steps to reach them. We’re more motivated to reach our goals when we have confidence in ourselves.
We view failures and setbacks as learning opportunities. Self-acceptance teaches us that failure does not define us and should not stand in our way to success.
Greater Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means treating yourself in the same loving way you would treat a good friend (Neff, 2023). It’s commonly known that we tend to be our own worst critics.
When we make mistakes, fail, don’t get it right the first time etc. we tend to talk down harshly to ourselves. We may even talk harshly to ourselves using words like “stupid”, “worthless”, “not good enough”. These are not things we say to our friends or family members when they make mistakes, so why would we talk to ourselves in that way?
Being kinder and having more compassion toward ourselves can make us more resilient in the face of setbacks.
Be Yourself
Since self-acceptance is being honest to yourself about yourself, you’ll naturally feel more comfortable being yourself.
Accepting yourself means you can be and show up as your own unique, authentic self without worrying about the judgements of others. You no longer feel the need to hide or be “in character” around others.
That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Conclusion
Self-acceptance is a circular motion of positivity. The more self-acceptance, the more positive the effect on other areas of your life.
By accepting yourself you’re more honest about your strengths and weaknesses which leads to a more positive self-image. Having a positive self-image means having more self-compassion.
Having more compassion toward yourself means you’re more resilient in the face of setbacks. Therefore, you gain more self-confidence which means you view failure and setback as opportunities to learn.
It also means that the goals you set will be more realistic and in line with who and what you really and truly are. Thus you gain greater independence and have a higher chance of reaching success.
Are you one of those people who just can’t seem to say no? You’re struggling with your current workload and yet you take on extra work when asked. Or perhaps your partner wants to go camping over the weekend and you agree even though you hate camping.
Whatever the scenario, you agree that you struggle to say “no”. Today we’ll look at reasons why some of us struggle with saying no and what we can do to learn how to say “no”.
Why We Can’t Say No
From a psychological aspect, the inability to say no stems from childhood. Many of us were brought up and taught to be polite. Part of being polite was doing what we’re told. If we say no it was interpreted as a form of back-chat.
In other, or more severe cases, refusing to do as we’re told meant punishment. So begins the cycle of negative reinforcement. However, it doesn’t always have a positive result.
Believing that saying no is bad can make it difficult for children to express their own feelings and preferences. For some, this might continue into adulthood.
Imposter Syndrome
Another reason we can’t say no (especially in a work situation), is due to something called imposter syndrome. We may feel like we’re not good enough or that our success in our current position was not deserved. Thus, we say yes to more work, to longer hours etc.
We say yes because we think our bosses may think we are unable to perform our responsibilities to the best of our ability. It can also be hard to say no to ourselves at times. We might say yes because we want to prove to ourselves that we CAN actually do the job we were assigned to do.
Empathy
According to Erin Eatough (2022), empathy and human nature is another reason we can’t say no. Since we are social creatures, we rely on human connection and that means we’re also afraid of disappointing others or creating conflict. This is due to our need for belonging.
Eatough makes use of a study from the University of Waterloo. People were asked to carry out certain tasks that went against their own ethical standing. Half of the subjects agreed to carry out the task(s) although they voiced their objections clearly. Why did they do this? Because saying no was too difficult.
However, this brings me to the next, and last reason why we can’t say no.
Authority
The Milgram Experiment was conducted in 1961. The purpose of the test was to examine the willingness of the individuals to obey an authority figure who instructed them to perform acts that go against their personal conscience and moral values.
The result of the experiment indicated that most people will commit unethical acts – acts that go against their own morals and values – if told by an authority figure to do so.
However, this can not only be evidenced by experiments, but real life as well. The strip search phone call scam is real life evidence that people will do almost anything when instructed by an authority figure.
A man, claiming to be a police officer, would call fast food restaurants and instruct a manager to perform a strip search on an employee. It included bizarre and humiliating acts and a violation of the victim’s rights.
Learn When to Say No
Struggling to say no is normal. But you can learn to say no by identifying signs of personal discomfort. The following signs are an indication that you might need to say no for your own good:
Feeling Uncomfortable
You know your own limits. If you are asked to do something that causes you to feel uncomfortable, you should rather say no. Take a breath and listen to your gut (or intuition).
People Pleasing
Pleasing others can be a natural incentive for performing tasks. However, if it comes at the cost of your own happiness and well-being it probably isn’t worth it.
Because of Work
There are a multitude of reasons why people can’t say no due to work. Learn to say no:
When you’re overloaded with work. Rather wait until you’ve finished a couple of projects before taking on new work. Learn to beat imposter syndrome and gain some valuable time management skills as this will show you when and where you have time for work. It will also allow you to have time for yourself – not family, not friends, no extra obligations, only YOU.
When you’re feeling guilty or obligated. You shouldn’t feel guilty or obligated to say yes to work from your superiors. Your job may require you to take on extra work when delegated by superiors but it doesn’t mean your time is less important than theirs.
When it crosses your boundaries. This one counts both for in and out of the office. If you struggle with placing clear boundaries, please read my full article here.
A Few Things to Consider
If you still can’t say no or are struggling to do so, ask yourself these questions before saying yes instead:
If I say yes, will it prevent me from focusing on something that’s (more) important to me?
What are my core values, beliefs and goals? Does this (event) align with my values, beliefs and goals?
Do I really have spare time, or will it cause burnout?
Let’s learn how to say no. You don’t want to peeve someone off by just bluntly saying “no”. I know people like that and others generally think they are rude. But I know them and that’s just who they are.
However, when it comes to work or people in general, you don’t want to come across as an a**hole by bluntly saying “no” when they ask you to dog-sit for them. So here’s what to do:
Be Clear
You can decline a request while being kind and respectful. Be clear about your no so that no one is left wondering what you really mean. Don’t give an unclear answer like “It’s tough to say”. Rather try something like “I’m sorry, but I’m not able to” or “Thanks, but that’s not going to work for me.”
Extend Gratitude
Sometimes the person asking the favor (or event) is someone that means a lot like a best friend or family member. In that case you can express gratitude that they thought of you for being the best person for the job.
However, you’re not able to do it. You can try:
Thank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, I’m not able to.
You asking me really means a lot but sadly, I can’t.
Final Tips
Just know that you don’t have to give an explanation as to why you can’t babysit or go to that party you were invited to. Sometimes the reasons are personal – and YES self-care is personal too.
It’s also not your job to offer alternatives. If someone asked you to house-sit, it’s not your job to say no and offer a friend who may be willing to help. The stress should not be on you to solve their problem.
However, when it comes to work things might look a little different. If you’re unable to take on more work it would be wise to give a reason why. Your mental health is more important than taking on another project that you don’t have time for.
Therefore, brainstorming an alternative might be a good idea too. You are allowed to let your boss know if someone in the office is looking for extra work. Or if someone else might be better suited for the project.
Why Saying No Is Good For You
Saying no is a form of self-care. And we all know how important self-care is not only for your physical body, but for your mental health as well.
Therefore, saying no holds a lot of benefits. Some of them include:
Freeing up extra time for yourself. This time can and should be used to rest and recharge.
It sets clear boundaries (and maintains them) with loved ones and colleagues.
Saying no can help you engage in activities that aligns with your current goals.
Just remember, you can only have power over yourself. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Exercise that power. It’s good for you.
I recently moved abroad. Fitness and healthy eating has become part of my daily life. However, that does not mean it is always easy to stay fit and continue eating the way I’m used to when travelling.
So, in this post I will give some tips and tricks that worked for me to stay fit and continue a healthy lifestyle while travelling.
Things You Can Bring On Your Trip
Knowing that weight is a big deal when travelling, you want to keep your fitness gear to a minimum. This does not mean you should bring nothing.
Back home I had a number of dumbbells, kettlebells, skipping rope, loop / resistance bands etc. Unfortunately, I was only able to bring a couple of things:
All these items are light and take up little space in luggage bags. Although they are inexpensive – and I could have bought them on Amazon – I would rather take with what I can and buy the things I was not able to bring.
Doing this not only saved me money, but I was able to start exercising from the moment I landed. Staying fit while travelling should be easy and should not require you to leave something behind that is sentimental or important to you.
But, you also don’t want to NOT bring training gear / equipment and lose the muscle or fitness levels you gained before your travels. So choose wisely.
Using What You Have To Stay Fit While Travelling
You’ve got minimum gear. Now what? It doesn’t matter what kind of sport you did before travelling. For a while you might not be able to do or afford to do the sport you did.
But to keep from falling too far behind in your fitness or losing too much muscle, you have to do something, right?
A cyclist may not be able to afford a new bicycle right away. Nor would a hockey player be able to join a hockey club and afford gear right away. Here are a few tips for doing the best with what you have:
Running Shoes
Running shoes are not only for running. We walk everywhere. It’s a good way to get in your daily steps. In my home country we couldn’t walk anywhere due to the high crime rate.
Now, I can walk where I want when I want. It’s wonderful. The same goes for running. I take morning runs and spend time in nature. You don’t need a gym for that.
Resistance / Loop Bands
These I use for strength training. Since I was unable to bring my dumbbells and kettlebells with, I was still able to bring resistance / loop bands since they are extremely light weight and take little space.
Sometimes you have to get a little creative with resistance bands to work certain muscle groups, but otherwise they have been a life (muscle) saver!
They may not be as “heavy” as your usual weights, but they get the job done and they work the muscles a little different from dumbbells.
According to and article by Cleveland Clinic, resistance bands have shown to provide similar strength gains as conventional gym equipment. Resistance bands tend to put more tension on the muscle for longer periods during movement.
Skipping Rope
Skipping rope has exploded since the pandemic (COVID-19) hit the planet. Everyone started using skipping ropes to stay in shape. So why should it be any different when travelling to stay fit?
On the days that you are unable to walk or run due to weather (or if you just prefer skipping over running) skipping can be a great alternative. Skipping can be done indoors – like in a garage – or any area with a roof.
This exercise holds most of the same benefits as any other cardiovascular exercise:
You always have the option of using only your body and nothing else. Push-ups, mountain climbers, jumping jacks, HIIT etc. are all exercises that don’t necessarily require any equipment.
Body weight workouts can include strength and cardio with basically no extra equipment. Yoga is another challenging, yet rewarding form of exercise to stay fit and build some muscle.
Finally, another one of my biggest help was an app called FitOn. I use it all the time and it helps with not having to plan a workout. I just choose a simple workout and leave the guesswork to the app. It’s free to use anywhere, anytime and at your own pace.
Conclusion
Now you know how to stay fit when travelling. You don’t need a lot – in fact, you only need yourself.
Remember fitness should not only be about your body and keeping your body healthy. Although this is a major factor in wanting to move and keep fit, you should also be doing it for the benefit of your mental health.
In a world filled with constant change and challenges, developing a growth mindset is not just a luxury, but a necessity. Embracing the power of a growth mindset can unlock untapped potential, transforming how we approach obstacles and opportunities alike.
In this blog article, we will explore a range of techniques that can help you cultivate and nurture a growth mindset, empowering you to thrive in both personal and professional realms.
Is Growth Mindset a Skill?
There exists the misconception that a growth mindset is an inherent trait. This is absolutely not true.
A growth mindset can be developed and cultivated through deliberate effort and practice. Your brain has the ability to grow and change over time when exposed to new things. This is more so when learning and developing new skills.
What Does a Growth Mindset Mean?
So then, what is a growth mindset? I’ve touched on this before, but a growth mindset describes the way in which we view challenges and setbacks. It’s viewing those challenges and setbacks as:
Having a growth mindset means to embrace challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and seeing effort as a path to mastery.
Nothing in life comes easy. If reaching your goals and becoming successful was easy, everyone would do it. Therefore, if you want to become successful and level up you have to embrace challenges.
With embracing challenges comes persistence. Persisting in the face of setbacks takes effort and effort should be seen as your path to mastery. Learning new things and becoming proficient in them is an achievement. That’s how you level up.
Why Is Growth Mindset Important?
Having a growth mindset is important for personal and professional development. If you continually believe that you cannot be any better at something then you’ll never learn to grow.
Yes, some people are born with certain talents. But they still need to train and learn everything they can to become the best at that specific talent. The same can be applied to any skill or talent.
No one is born knowing their full range of talents. It’s only once they start practicing that they discover what they’re good at. You just have to believe in yourself and know that you are good at certain things too. And that you can become better at them over time.
A growth mindset provides motivation to learn and practice. Thus, enabling us to bounce back from failures and continue to learn. This is what is called resilience. It’s having the capacity to withstand and recover from difficulty.
It also enhances our problem-solving abilities and encourages us to take on new challenges.
Benefits of Having a Growth Mindset and How It Can Lead to Success
It should come as no surprise that having a growth mindset comes with numerous benefits including:
Higher resiliency
Increased motivation
Increased perseverance
Greater success long term
According to a McKinsey & Co. report (2017), up to 375 million workers have to either learn new skills or change roles by 2030. Those with a growth mindset will therefore, advance in their careers while those who believe they are inadequate won’t.
Learning, and wanting to learn, means you stay a step ahead of the rest. Doing things by trial-and-error also means you get to retain more information giving you the motivation to continue to do so.
A growth mindset fosters a love for learning and a desire for continuous improvement. This can lead to increased productivity, creativity, and innovation.
Techniques to Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Below are a few techniques that you can use to cultivate a growth mindset.
Embracing Challenges and Viewing Failure as Learning Opportunities
It’s important to embrace challenges and reframe failures as stepping stones to growth. Ultimately, embracing challenges gives you the opportunity to expand on your current skills.
The more you know, the more capable you’ll be to take on new job opportunities and grow as an individual. However, success should not only be measured by how much we earn, but also in terms of what we know and can teach others.
This includes the skills and knowledge that we can teach the next generation. Some aspire to be great, loving and supportive parents while others wish to be the next David Copperfield.
Let your aspirations drive your motivation to continue learning, gain knowledge and enable you to persevere through hardships.
Cultivating a Positive and Open Mindset
Being positive 100% of the time may not be realistic. If you’re struggling to stay positive, that’s okay. Life has become so fast-paced that at times it can be hard to keep up.
Everyone moves at their own pace, and that’s okay. It’s normal. The key is to take your time when you’re having a tough day, but then getting up again and moving on. One way to do this is through positive self-talk.
Positive self-talk can help reframe your negative thoughts and is necessary for the development of a growth mindset. I have one phrase that I always use:
You can do anything, achieve anything, that you put your mind to.
This is my favorite. I have a couple others that I also use depending on what I’m struggling with. I always back up those words with hurdles of things that I’ve already overcome and things I have achieved.
Knowing your capabilities and having the evidence to back it up will lead to higher confidence and foster self-belief. The one positive action will lead to the next. The effort you have to put in is minimal.
Setting Realistic and Stretch Goals
Nothing can be fully achieved if we don’t set the right goals in the right manner. Therefore, it’s best practice to set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant goals that are time-bound (SMART).
For a complete guide on setting SMART goals, please click this link.
To continue with your growth mindset, also means celebrating the small victories. You were able to lose 2 pounds this week, well done! Celebrate with a friend by doing an activity that you love.
Overcame a hurdle at work by solving a problem and getting recognition, nice! Celebrate it. Increase the positive self-talk. Give yourself a pat on the back. Anything, as long as it drives you and makes you feel good.
Each step of a smaller goal, to ultimately reach your top goal, achieved should be celebrated. However, reflection is just as important. At the end of each week write down the things that worked well and things that you would like to change.
Don’t neglect to include the things that you achieved this week. Perhaps you wanted to lose 4 pounds, but only managed 2 – that’s still a great achievement. You should be proud.
It doesn’t matter if you reached your goal to it’s fullest when starting out. What matters is that you don’t let it discourage you from reaching your fullest potential.
Seeking Feedback and Embracing Continuous Learning
Seeking feedback is not the same as seeking validation. What you’re looking for is feedback that is constructive and something you can take away from.
If you’re wanting to succeed and grow in your professional life then asking your boss or manager about your performance and gaps during a KPI discussion will be helpful. You are allowed to ask them where your gaps are, where you need some improvement and where you’re doing well.
Having an outsider give you information can be beneficial. They see things that you don’t. Knowing where you need to improve is a new opportunity to reflect and reconfigure your gameplan to improve on the areas that you’re lacking in.
Perhaps you want to gain more speed in your running. Not sure what’s causing a plateau? Ask a personal trainer to help you. They will see things regarding your stride, posture, feet etc. that you can’t see.
Don’t be afraid to seek feedback. It’s crucial to your personal growth.
Are you tired of playing it safe and not reaching your full potential?
Fear of failure can hold us back from embracing opportunities and stepping out of our comfort zones. However, by adopting solution-focused strategies, you can overcome these fears, conquer challenges, and embark on a journey of personal growth and success.
Understanding the Power of Fear
According to evolutionary scientists the main purpose of fear is to keep us safe. Safe from oncoming traffic, falling off cliffs, getting bit by poisonous animals etc. But it can also hinder us from achieving our goals and reaching our full potential.
If we constantly fear the unknown, we prevent ourselves from reaching new heights. This is especially applicable to our personal lives including our ambitions. So, how do we conquer this fear to achieve a fulfilling life without regretting that we never tried?
Manifestations of Fear
Fear, in our personal lives, comes in various forms:
Self-doubt
Procrastination
Avoidance
“What-if” mentality
Self-Doubt
As humans, we constantly struggle with self-doubt. I believe this is due to comparing ourselves with others on a daily basis. Social media makes it easy for us to do. We see successful people all the time thinking that they never made mistakes and that they just woke up successful one day.
This cannot be further from the truth. All successful people had to make mistakes to learn from and find new solutions to those problems. However, had they listened to that voice telling them they’re not good enough we would not have Microsoft, Amazon, PayPal, SpaceX etc.
Procrastination
Procrastination is a self-defeating habit most of us struggle with at times. It’s marked by short-term benefits with long-term costs.
Why are we scared of starting today? Would it really make a difference starting next week? Why would starting next week be any safer than starting today? There is no difference, that’s the problem. We always place the most important thing last on our to-do lists. Every. Single. Day.
It’s been found that procrastinators have a lack of self-control due to the depletion of mental resources. Researchers found that procrastination is associated with:
Higher levels of stress and anxiety
Lack of persistence, work discipline and time management
Have weak impulse control
Unable to work methodically
Consequently, continuous procrastination leads to feelings of regret, being overly stressed from the inability to complete tasks and the result is an increase in negative self-talk.
Avoidance
Avoidance refers to behaviors that individuals use to ensure that they don’t get involved in certain situations. It also enables them to leave certain situations that cause specific feelings.
It also refers to behaviors where individuals actively choose to avoid certain feelings. Instead, they bottle it up, put the lid on and hope to never deal with it.
According to Silvi Saxena, from Choosing Therapy, avoidance may look like someone avoiding new job opportunities, social situations, relationships, career advancements etc. They use avoidance as a coping mechanism for pain, trauma and various mental health issues.
Avoidance can give us a false sense of control. We think we’re avoiding dangerous situations, but ultimately, we’re just keeping ourselves from reaching our full potential.
What-If Mentality
Don’t we all understand the “what-if” mentality? What if I’m not good at my new job? What if they laugh at me? What if I’m not good enough for…?
We fear rejection without actually knowing 100% that it’s going to happen. So, we reject ourselves before we get rejected (or not) by others.
What if you’re not good at your job? You’ll learn and you’ll get better. What if you turn out to be great at your job?
But what if they laugh? So what? You’ll laugh at them when you’re successful and they’re not. Then you’re going to teach them how to be successful.
Okay, and what if you’re not good enough for…? Perhaps you’re too good for Shaun, Brian or Megan. Thing is, you’ll never know unless you try and put yourself out there. Don’t stop yourself from reaching your goals and fullest potential if you have no evidence to back it up.
Fear is normal and experienced by everyone, but it should not dictate your choices or limit your potential. You absolutely have what it takes and more, but you just don’t know it yet.
Shifting Your Mindset
I encourage you to reframe your perspective on failure: instead of viewing it as a setback, consider it an opportunity for growth and learning.
Persist through setbacks and incorporate a growth mindset. See failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. You can learn anything you want. It’s your effort and attitude that determine your abilities.
If you continually believe that you’re not good enough, you’re playing into a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, the inverse is also true. If you believe you can and are capable of achieving remarkable things, those things will come true.
Start doing things that back up your positive beliefs. Get out of your comfort zone and do something scary. Many successful people say this and do this on a daily basis. They have good reason for saying and doing it.
It provides them with the opportunity to learn something new about themselves and to grow from the experience. Look at it this way:
Stagnant water is harmful as it’s an incubator for bacteria and parasites whereas running water gets rid of bacteria and parasites. Plants that stagnate eventually wilt and die unless something changes to encourage growth.
Humans are also part of nature. If we’re stagnant for too long we get ill (mentally and / or physically) unless we learn to grow. If something isn’t working, we should learn from it and not make the same mistakes. Believe that you have the ability to improve and in ultimately reaching your full potential.
It will lead to higher confidence, better decisions and a happier, more fulfilled you. Next, I’ll provide some guidance on how you can overcome your stumbling blocks, mental fears and step into a new, goal-driven you.
Solution-Focused Strategies
Below are three strategies that you can use to conquer your fears, challenges, and embark on a journey of personal growth and success.
Strategy 1: Setting Clear Goals and Creating a Roadmap
You want to set goals that are SMART:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time-bound
If your goals are big, it would be better to break them down into smaller chunks to make them more manageable and less prone to discourage you.
Example: You wish to achieve an A for all your subjects. This goal can seem daunting for most people especially those who aren’t academically inclined. But trying to achieve an A for 2 subjects to start with seems more manageable. This strategy can then be replicated for the other subjects.
To keep you on track, celebrate the small achievements. Tony Robbins refers to this as reinforcements in Unleashing the Giant Within. Each time you reach a goal, celebrate it as a way to reinforce that behavior.
Reinforcement can be applied to bad habits as well. You have to reward yourself for anything you want to continue doing until that bad habit no longer exist.
Strategy 2: Visualizing Success and Building Self-Confidence
Explore the power of visualization in overcoming fear and building confidence. Visualization is a technique whereby you create a mental image of the feared situation. It can help reduce anxiety and ultimately increase confidence.
One technique of visualization is called desensitization. This is where you gradually expose yourself to the feared situation in your imagination. You start out with a mild version of the situation and gradually work yourself up to a more intense version.
Example: If you fear public speaking (because “what-if” or due to self-doubt) you can visualize getting ready for the event. Then go over your speech in your head. Visualize how you practice the speech in your room before the event. Then visualize yourself taking the stairs up to the stage and so on.
As you become more comfortable with the situation in your imagination, you can gradually expose yourself to the situation in real life. You can start out small by perhaps having the speech in front of close family, then friends, friends of friends and so on.
This can help to gradually reduce your anxiety and increase your confidence. This will make it easier for you to confront your fears. Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to but you are also the only one that can hold you back from reaching your full potential.
Before taking action, remember to take calculated risks. You don’t want to end up losing everything because the possible reward seems life changing. In the words of Richard Branson, “Be bold, but don’t gamble.”
It’s easy to give up when things get tough but keep chasing your dreams and goals. Once you decide to do something, don’t look back and never regret the choices you make.
Be prepared to make mistakes, but also be prepared to learn from them. Don’t be paralyzed by them. This is the only way you’ll get out of your comfort zone and grow.
It’s always two steps forward one step back. Develop resilience to reach your full potential:
Adapt to adversity. Continue functioning even though you are stressed, experienced trauma, grief etc. Also be able to reach out to loved ones for support.
Make each day meaningful. Do things that give you a sense of accomplishment. This will increase your confidence.
Learn from experience. One way of doing this is journaling. Write down when things are hard, but also continue writing when things are good. That way you’ll find a pattern of what you did to overcome the hardships in your life.
Practice selfcare. The only way to grow and move forward is to also take your own needs into account.
Be proactive. Always know that your situation can improve but only when you work at it. Figure out what you need to do and create a plan of action.
Self-care for mental health is not just about meditation, yoga and breathing practices. It’s about taking care of your body and your soul in order for you to live optimally.
When practiced correctly, self-care can be greatly beneficial to your mental health. However, there is no correct way (per se) to practice self-care. Although this my sound contradictory, it’s not. I’ll explain this later in the article.
This article will explore self-care, it’s connection to mental health and tips that you can use to make self-care part of your daily routine.
Understanding Self-Care
According to Moira Lawler, self-care has to do with taking care of yourself which includes taking care of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
It results in better physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. It promotes better health overall. Self-care means feeling physically stronger, emotionally happier and mentally more equipped to handle daily stressors.
The good thing about practicing self-care is that you have to engage in it on a daily basis. This may sound strange, but forming daily positive habits means:
Depression can be difficult to live with. It’s a constant feeling of despair, being tired and listless. It can make taking care of yourself seem like something unattainable.
The upside is that the brain is adaptable and is capable of creating new neural pathways. Therefore, recovering your executive functions (the frontal lobe is responsible for executive functioning and depression is associated with dysfunction of this part of the brain) can return to a healthy state reducing symptoms of depression.
One of the ways to recover your executive functioning is by incorporating self-care especially for mental health.
Deborah Seranl, a doctor of Psychology, suggests the following:
Start small. Try to reach small goals at a time like getting out of bed, getting fresh air or sit in a room which is sunny.
Get active. Again, start small. Make coffee, take a shower and get dressed. You don’t have to start with a jog around the block – but aim to get there at some point.
Get your sense involved. It also means increasing your awareness. When outside listen to the birds singing, feel the sun on your skin, smell the flowers or freshly cut grass, see how colorful everything is and taste the fresh air (or your coffee, your choice).
Stick with a routine that suits you. Try the same small steps everyday and work yourself up to bigger goals. But don’t stop. Continue doing it. Your brain needs to create new neural pathways and the only way to achieve this is to stick to the routine.
How Self-Care Improves Mental Health
As mentioned earlier, when self-care is practiced correctly it can be beneficial to your mental health. We’ve already looked at ways to start slowly with a self-care regimen, let’s look at a few things you don’t want to do:
Creating a to-do list of self-care items you want to do each day that consists of 20 items
Do things you don’t enjoy
Your mental health can be extremely fragile. Therefore you have to take things slow and do things you enjoy doing. Think of it as a broken leg. You’re going to take it slow and steady in the beginning before learning to walk on that leg again.
Self-Care and Stress
Although self-care has its root in mental health, it also plays a role in stress management. Taking an hour each day to focus on YOU can significantly improve stress. Here’s how:
Doing something that you enjoy and aids in your own well-being takes your mind off of the things that may be bothering or worrying you.
It gives your mind and body time to rest, reset and rejuvenate.
You’ll end up having more energy to meet the demands of daily life. This leads to being more productive and more resilient to daily stressors.
Positive Mindset
Practicing self-care for your mental health promotes a healthy self-esteem, self-worth and a positive mindset.
When we take better care of ourselves by eating healthily, being active, nurturing our bodies we tend to feel good. Not just physically, but mentally too. When we feel good and see the difference it makes, we tend to focus less on what others think of us and focus more on what we think of ourselves.
The moment we are more confident and feel positively about ourselves we also see the world in a brighter light. We tend to see more of the positive things happening in the world rather than the opposite.
Being more positive also changes our narrative and the way we communicate. That includes the way we communicate with ourselves and others. We’re less tolerant of negative individuals and steer more toward those that hold the same ideas and values as us.
Self-Care Practices for Mental Well-being
There are a few things that I like to do daily that makes me feel good about myself inside and out. This has shown to benefit my own mental health by decreasing my anxiety and alleviating some of the symptoms of depression.
Keep in mind that although this works for me, it may not be something that works for you. You have to find something that makes you feel good about yourself. Something that gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment and like you can take on the world.
Having a Skincare Routine
I started taking care of my skin not too long ago. It’s probably been about 3 years now. I never really used to care too much about skincare except buying a face wash and a scrub.
It only started after I had to do some research on skincare products for someone dear to me. I had to learn all about retinol, vitamin C, hyaluronic acids etc. I learnt a whole bunch of things I never really knew before.
My biggest problem was that no matter what I tried as a day cream, my face would continue to be extremely oily. I knew exactly which ingredients I had to look for when it comes to oily skin. Alas, nothing really worked out.
Needless to say, I finally have the perfect skincare routine made from natural ingredients and cruelty free. I no longer have any complaints and my skin looks amazing. I get compliments all the time. It’s wonderful.
My point is, I can literally see the benefits of taking care of my skin. I can hear the compliments people are giving me (without wearing makeup). All these things make me feel good. And finally, I know that my skincare does not come at the cost of hurting animals.
Effects of Skincare for Mental Health
Erum Ilyas, a board-certified dermatologist claims that our skin is like a check engine light for our internal health. When our skin looks good, we tend to feel better about ourselves as well.
Following a skincare routine brings structure into our lives. A research study found that those who do not have consistent routines were more likely to suffer from mental health conditions like depression and bipolar disorder.
Having structure gives us a sense of control. We already know what’s going to happen and we don’t have to think about it. We know what to expect at certain times of the day. Therefore, we free our minds of worry and stress leaving room to focus on the good things happening in the moment.
Exercising
Perhaps this is not something I do daily, but try to do at least 4 to 5 times a week. Even on the days I don’t exercise, I will stretch and go for walks.
I’ve always loved moving and doing exercises. I love it even more since I changed the way I look at it. Usually I would think “I have to work out today”, but now it’s “I get to work out today.”
By just changing a few words I’m enjoying physical exercise more. I’ve become more self-aware and focused whilst exercising.
Positive Effects of Exercise on Mental Health
Regular exercise has shown to decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression. It’s been noted that physical exercise is nearly 1.5 times more effective than medication when it comes to mental health conditions.
Not only does exercise improve health, fitness levels and reduce fat but it also:
Exercise for self-care holds a lot more benefits to mental health than we think. Therefore, making it part of your daily or weekly routine is a must. To know the full benefits of exercise on mental health, please read the full article.
When it comes to the best exercise for self-care and mental health, the rule of thumb is doing something you enjoy doing. If it’s walking, do that. You’ll still reap all the benefits.
It doesn’t matter if you enjoy lifting light or heavy weights, doing yoga, jogging or skiing – as long as it’s something that you completely enjoy.
Eating Healthy Meals
I used to count calories like a crazy person. It led me to a dark, dark place. I cut out sugar completely – even apples which was my favorite fruit. I used to have at least one apple every day. I stopped.
Certain vegetables like sweet potatoes, potatoes, gem squash – anything too high in carbs was out as well. Things were not great. I was basically living on (air popped) popcorn and coffee.
Luckily now, I have a great support system and I was able to let go of all those bad eating habits. I make sure I eat healthy, but still enjoy the occasional chocolate or cake or pudding when I want. All in moderation, though!
My diet consists of whole foods – mostly, vegetables, fruits, lentils, legumes, nuts etc. Whenever something processed or “unhealthy” enters my body, I can actually feel the effects. Enjoying one too many puddings will leave me feeling dull and with a headache the next day.
Having a margarita pizza will hurt my stomach, although I really enjoy it when I’m having it. My point is, following a healthy “diet” is beneficial for your body and mind.
It takes a hell of a lot of pressure off when you allow yourself to have nice things but in moderation. There are no more restrictions. I also read this book by Jessica Sepel, Living the Healthy Lifeand used that as guidance. Most of her vegetarian recipes I still make and love.
Another book I read wasIn The Flo by Alisa Vitti which taught me how and what to eat according to my time of the month. I now listen to my body and take care of it accordingly. With more energy I get to do things I enjoy more often.
Nutrition for Mental Health
Cleaning up your diet has shown to hold significant benefits for mental health like anxiety and depression.
There’s an increase in ”good” bacteria when you eat nutritionally dense food. This in turn have a positive effect on the production of chemicals like serotonin and dopamine (feel-good hormones).
Therefore, following a nutrient rich diet or eating habit will result in less mood swings and an improved ability to focus.
Self-confidence, that flickering flame within us, holds the power to transform lives and fuel personal and professional growth. We’ve all experienced the weight of self-doubt, the whispers that cast shadows over our aspirations.
But picture a different reality, one where unwavering self-confidence is your constant companion. In this alternate version of your story, challenges become stepping stones, failures become valuable lessons, and setbacks become catalysts for growth.
It is the unwavering faith in oneself, the recognition of untapped potential. It emboldens us to step out of our comfort zone, sculpt a life aligned with our deepest desires, and command attention in our chosen field.
Beyond propelling us forward, self-confidence transforms our emotional well-being. It nurtures self-acceptance, shields us from self-doubt, and frees us from the need for external validation.
This guide will help you understand self-confidence and assist with breaking the barriers of limiting beliefs, cultivate a positive self-image, adopting a growth mindset and more.
Understanding Self-Confidence
Self-confidence can be defined as the attitude you have towards your skills, talents, abilities and goals. If your attitude toward these are positive it means you feel in control, you accept and trust yourself.
It also means you understand and know your weaknesses and have a positive view of yourself. The goals you set are realistic, you’re able to handle criticism well and you know how to communicate assertively.
However, there are common misconceptions about self-confidence and growth:
Thinking that only wealthy people have self-confidence
Holding the belief that only smart or intelligent people can have self-confidence
Self-confidence cannot be learnt as an adult
Identifying Limiting Beliefs
One of the biggest setbacks we face in cultivating self-confidence and personal growth is limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs is like an illness constantly holding us back from everything good we truly deserve and can achieve in life.
Limiting beliefs are basically the negative assumptions and perceptions we have about ourselves and the world around us. But it also acts as a defense mechanism that protects us from pain.
A defense mechanism forms in the subconscious, usually starting in early childhood, and continues through adulthood. We reference hurtful past experiences and find ways to prevent those experiences from reoccurring.
However, these defense mechanisms can act as boundaries that may lead to anxiety, procrastination or worse, imposter syndrome.
Luckily, there are techniques to recognize and challenge negative beliefs:
Whenever you catch yourself thinking in a negative manner about your skills, abilities, talents or goals, write them down. These can be anything from “I’m not smart enough to reach that goal” to “I’m definitely not skilled enough for that job”.
Assess the accuracy of the belief. List the things you’ve achieved in your life as proof that Yes! You are the right person for the job and YES! You are definitely smart enough to reach that goal!
Make use of positive affirmations.
Believe in yourself and don’t give up. Self-confidence can be learned at any age. You can also try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Usually, it’s done with the help of a healthcare professional, but it can be done alone. If you feel too overwhelmed to try it alone, the above 4 steps will surely bump up your self-confidence.
Cultivating a Positive Self-Image
According to Psychology Today, overcoming self-criticism involves 3 strategies:
A form of self-reflection: noticing what went well and what didn’t
Taking note of the consequences of your negative thoughts and;
Making a conscious decision to be kind to yourself
Sometimes it can be the most difficult thing to recognize everything that went well in the past day, week, month etc. It’s easy to focus on the things we didn’t get to or that we didn’t achieve.
This can lead to feeling even more demotivated and sluggish about ourselves. It can result in quitting altogether and ultimately limiting our growth.
Instead, look for the small things that you achieved:
I worked out 3 times this week. This is an improvement from last week!
I had less takeout and more homemade meals this week.
I got to go for a walk twice this week with friends.
Your goals don’t have to be major if you’re just starting out. If the goal was to workout at least 4 days in a week – well, feel proud if you managed to do 3. This will motivate you to do even better next week. Just don’t give up.
Finally, be kind. If this was a friend struggling you would be cheering them on! Why not show the same compassion to yourself? Give yourself a pat on the back and a hearty “well done, babe.”
Building a Supportive Mindset
I’ve always been a firm believer in continuous improvement and growth. A number of years ago I worked at a manufacturing company introducing, implementing and maintaining their Quality Management System (ISO 9001:2015).
One of the main things about a QMS is continuous improvement. If we’re doing it for companies to continue growing, evolving and becoming better, why can’t we adopt those same habits on ourselves? We can and we should.
Let’s take for example you want to start long distance running. First, you’re going to start running. But to keep doing well you start doing it more often. Perhaps 5 days a week. You’ve reached a sweet spot but you’re cautious to not hit a plateau. What now?
Well, you can start doing some resistance training to strengthen certain muscle groups. This will not only prevent a plateau, but also help with your time. Afterwards you may even think of adjusting your diet or incorporating strength training with weights.
Growth Mindset for Self-Confidence
Having a growth mindset means that you believe that your talents and intelligence can be developed over time which can lead to higher self-confidence. According to Boise State University, there are 5 key elements to a growth mindset:
Believing your intelligence can be developed over time. In primary school I sucked at math. I couldn’t do or understand subtraction at all. I only started understanding it at around 9.
I never did well in IQ tests in primary school either. But, by not giving up I received a cum laude for most of my subjects in university all while working 60 hours a week.
Embrace challenges. Believe in yourself so much that you won’t show away a challenge when it presents itself.
Persist even in the face of setbacks. I used to do high jump in high school and was probably the best in the team. However, in 10th grade I didn’t make team. I received a lot of negative comments from people close to me telling me I’m “not built” for the sport.
The following year, I trained so hard, made team and even went on to represent my team, my school and my area. A setback to me is just another challenge and another way to show myself of what I’m capable of.
Effort should be seen as a path to mastery. Working hard is not a sign that you’re doing something wrong or that you don’t belong. It’s how you achieve success. No athlete trains once a week and makes team for the Olympics. Nothing in life comes easy.
Learn from criticism and find inspiration in the success of others. Don’t take criticism too personally. Find ways to learn from it and improve on it. Finally, get inspired by stories of success from others. Some of my favourite success stories are from Anthony Robbins, Jimmy Donaldson and David Pelzer. Get inspired and learn from them. They give valuable insight into the human spirit and what we are really capable of.
Embracing Personal Growth
Set achievable goals to boost your confidence. You can start small just to get your confidence up before moving on to something more challenging. If you don’t know how or where to start with goals, please read my article on setting and achieving goals the right way.
Celebrate the small victories along the way. All this may seem like a lot of hard work, but make it fun. Fun will never be associated with work. The more fun you have along the way the more likely you are to stick with it and gain self-confidence.
Mastering Assertive Communication
Learn techniques for effective communication and expressing yourself assertively. If you’re not sure what that entails and you need a guide on how to be more assertive, please read the full article on being assertive here.
Overcome your fear of rejection ad validation seeking. The only person you need validation from is yourself. And the only person holding you back is yourself. Stop doing that and start giving yourself some validation for your positive attributes, achievements, strengths and emotions.
How do you overcome your fear of rejection? Healthline has a number of tips to do this, here are some of my favorites:
Remember that it happens to everyone and that it’s inevitable. You won’t always get the first job you apply for, your friend will at times ignore your message to hangout and you may get turned down for a date from time to time.
Know your worth and keep reminding yourself of it. There are a few ways you can do this:
List 5 times you were proud of yourself
List the ways in which you practice our values
Remind yourself of everything you have to offer (a job, a partner, as a friend etc.)
Get to the root of the problem. Try to figure out why you’re really so afraid of rejection. Once you get to the root of the problem, you will be able to address it.
Accept help from your support network. This also means that you’re allowed to ask for help when you need it. Having people around who care will encourage you to achieve your goals and will still be there to comfort you when you don’t succeed.
Stepping Out of Comfort Zones
I’ve mentioned a couple of times that challenges should be embraced especially if you want to grow as a person. But how do we embrace a challenge in a safe manner that won’t do more harm than good?
You have to make the decision to embrace the obstacle or challenge. It has to be a conscious decision that you make. By making that decision it shows that you are ready and am capable of overcoming and exceeding in the challenge.
Next, you have to be okay with the discomfort. Discomfort now will lead to growth and more comfortability later. You have to learn to expand your current comfort zone and the only way to do that is to enter into discomfort.
Support. Having the right support system will take you to new heights and you may even surprise yourself at how equipped you really are at taking on new challenges.
Finally, show gratitude toward your obstacles. Without them, growth would not have been possible.
Self-Care and Confidence
It’s hard to feel good about ourselves if we neglect our bodies. Practicing self-care means doing something positive for your mind, body, and spirit. Therefore, you’ll naturally feel more confident.
Prioritize self-care to maintain a positive mindset. The best way to practice self-care is by:
Following a good, nutritious diet
Exercising regularly to release feel good hormones and have a positive body image
Meditate to calm the mind and body. It can improve self-acceptance and limit negative self-talk
Nurturing a Supportive Network for Self-Confidence and Growth
It’s been mentioned a lot throughout this guide how important a good support system is. But you also have to build a network of like-minded individuals for encouragement.
There’s this saying that you’ve probably heard before:
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. – Jim Rohn.
Average people are okay with being average and they have other drivers/motivators and that’s okay. But if you want to grow as a person, you have to be surrounded by others who are like-minded.
For you to increase your wins, you also have to increase your losses. It’s tough but worth it. Personal relationships can greatly influence our thinking, self-esteem and decisions-making.
If you’re constantly surrounded by people who love to go out, make regrettable decisions and willing to stagnate for a moment of pleasure, you’ll be influenced to end up the same.
Building Confidence in Various Life Areas
Learn to boost self-confidence in all areas of your life to improve personal and professional growth. Boosting confidence in relationships, career, and personal endeavors will increase your overall self-confidence and cement a growth mindset.
According to psychologist Nathaniel Branden, most mental and emotional problems that people face can be traced back to having poor self-esteem. He believed that by improving self-esteem you would also improve your performance.
Here are a few of my favorite exercises to increase confidence in all areas of life:
Adopt a posture of confidence. According to the Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy, confident body postures can have a positive effect on hormones.
Practice mindfulness. It’s proven to have noteworthy benefits for your psychological and physical wellbeing.
Exercising regularly can have a powerful effect on your confidence. To learn more on the effects of exercise on the brain, please read the full article here.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes and take calculated risks. Mistakes should be viewed as a learning curve rather than failure. In order to achieve our goals, we have to learn from our mistakes and face our weaknesses.
And as mentioned before, set clear, achievable goals, be nice to yourself and remember to ask for help when needed.
It’s well known that exercise can improve mental health. However, for some it can be quite a daunting task especially if they’ve never followed an exercise regimen before.
This article will look at some of the following topics:
How exercise can improve mental health
The direct benefits of physical exercise on mental health
Statistics surrounding exercise and it’s link to mental health
Which exercise is best
Can Exercise Improve Mental Health?
For others who suffer from depression and anxiety (and did not follow an exercise program) starting a program can be difficult. This is due to a low mood and lack of motivation.
Let’s face it, when we’re down and depressed it can be hard to get and stay motivated especially when it comes to exercise or any physical activity for that matter. I know, I’ve been there.
Having a mental health illness/disorder can mess with your thoughts, drain your energy and lower your self-esteem. It can even make making menial decisions seem like a difficult task.
Nonetheless, there are benefits to exercising for mental health. The key is just to take the first step and follow through until the new routine becomes a habit.
Benefits of Exercise on Mental Health
Exercising regularly can reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression and a low mood by:
Improving self-esteem
Improving cognitive function
Alleviating symptoms of social withdrawal.
Surprisingly, exercise can be beneficial for those suffering from schizophrenia (NIH, 2006). These individuals are already at risk for obesity as a result of their antipsychotics.
Schizophrenics that joined a 3-month physical conditioning program showed improvements in:
Weight control
Increased fitness levels
Reduced blood pressure levels
Increase perceived energy levels
Increased strength
Some of the health benefits from regular exercise include:
It may not seem like it but most of these items actually play a role in mental health as well. Better sleep has been shown to improve mood and reduce stress, among others.
An increase in energy means there are more feel-good hormones in the brain which also leads to an increased sex drive. This also results in a more positive self-image resulting in higher internal motivation to continued exercising.
Lack of Exercise Also Plays a Role
It should come as no surprise that the lack of exercise also has an effect on mental health.
The lack of exercise (especially when having bad eating habits) can result in the following, but is not limited to:
Heart disease
High blood pressure and cholesterol
Type 2 diabetes
Metabolic syndrome
Mentally it can lead to a depressed mood, low self-esteem, anxiety and negative self-talk. This may result in limiting beliefs, low motivation and less self-care.
What Exercise Does for Mental Health
So, what does exercise exactly do for mental health? The answer lies in hormones – mostly. Hormones play a direct role on our moods and usually mental health disorders/illness is a result of hormonal imbalances or brain abnormalities.
Researchers at Harvard Health Publishing found that aerobic exercise has a neurochemical basis. Doing regular exercises reduces the hormones adrenaline and cortisol which are stress hormones.
It also increases endorphins and dopamine which is the body’s natural painkiller and mood elevator. Endorphins are responsible for feelings of optimism and relaxation.
According to Piedmont, the body also releases serotonin and testosterone. Serotonin can promote better sleep and positively impact your mood, appetite, sexual function, memory and social behavior.
Testosterone, on the other hand, is linked to a higher sex drive, slow the effects of aging and increase sperm count in men.
More Benefits of Exercising Related to Behavior
Other benefits of exercise that can have a positive impact on our behavior includes (Neuroscience News, 2023):
An improvement in our sense of control, coping capability and self-esteem. This is due to feelings of accomplishment after a tough workout and seeing your body change in a positive way (muscle tone, smaller waistline and lower body fat %).
Promotes the idea of trying new things due to the distraction from negative thoughts that exercise provide
When exercising with others it can offer the opportunity to socialize and even receive social support
Being active can be a healthy outlet of frustration, anger, disappointment and other negative feelings
Lower muscle tension resulting in a more relaxed demeanor
Due to the mental health benefits and boost of feel-good hormones, regular exercise will make you want to change bad habits.
Exercise and Mental Health Statistics
According to researchers from the University of South Australia, exercising can be up to 1.5 times more effective than counselling or other medication when it comes to managing depression or anxiety.
The study comprised of 128 119 participants, 1039 trials and 97 reviews. What they found was that regular physical activity improved symptoms of depression, anxiety and distress.
Researchers at UCLA Health found that on average people have about 3.4 poor mental health days per month. But this number decreased by 40% among those who exercised regularly.
Which Exercise is Best
There is no one best exercise for mental health. But if you’re looking for the best exercise it’s best to find something you love doing. There’s no use in doing something like jogging or skateboarding if it’s not something you enjoy doing.
According to Harvard Health, as long as your body is busy, your mind will be distracted and no longer focus on other worries and stresses. Your mind will be open and free to think creatively.
It was found that rhythmic, repetitive exercises work best for mental health. While some prefer vigorous workouts to not only burn calories but stress too, others may prefer stretching to relax the muscles and the mind.
As I was busy doing my usual research for what I really wanted to write about today I found myself changing direction. What I found was a lot of sceptics making noise surrounding the actual need for a life coach.
For this article I looked at the following:
What a life coach does
Are life coaches in demand
Who would benefit from a life coach?
I also included a list of niches that life coaches tend to fall under since the term is so broadly used. There is no one person that can and have the knowledge to assist with all aspects of life.
There are a lot of people out there thinking that life coaching – in whatever niche – is just a “waste of time and money”. Today, I hope to show you that this is not the case. There is value in hiring someone to:
Show you your blind spots
Keep you accountable for not showing up to be your best self each day
Motivate you in becoming the best version of yourself
Encourage you to make decisions for yourself based on your own ideals and beliefs
And so much more.
The Controversy Around Life Coaching
There’s a lot of controversy around life coaches and coaching in general. Usually with a product or service you have to be able to live or embody that which you advertise. Meaning, if you’re a life coach who want to help others achieve success then you should have reached success already.
Sounds about right? Maybe. My version of success may be different from your version of success. If someone has goals to become the CEO of some major corporation then they should find a coach that is already a CEO? No!
Besides, a CEO won’t have time to coach others since they’ll be too busy being the CEO. Don’t ever think that your life coach should already be that which you wish to become. Your lives are different and so are your goals. You should want to become your own true best self, rather than a version of life your (maybe) coach is portraying online.
Not everyone’s measurement of success is the amount in their bank account, the price of their house or their annual income.
Are Life Coaches in Demand?
Here are some statistics to show just how in-demand life coaches can be:
If you’d like to get more statistics please head on over to Luisa Zhou’s page.
What a Life Coach Does
The quick and easy answer is: a life coach listens attentively, asks the right questions and perhaps point out blind spots that’s holding their clients back.
However, life coaches do more than that. They help their clients reach personal, professional or even spiritual goals through the use of certain tools like goal-setting.
Life coaches help their clients identify the steps they need to take to achieve certain goals. But they also offer motivation and will hold you accountable for your actions or lack thereof.
It all depends on the needs of the individual person as no two individuals are alike. Here’s a few niches life coaches can find themselves specializing in:
Life Coach Niches
This is not an exhaustive list, but some of the most common niches you can find online.
Who Would Benefit From a Life Coach?
You might be asking who needs a life coach or whether or not you would benefit from a life coach? Well, I believe anyone can benefit from coaching. It all depends on what your needs are.
Taking accountability for your actions or the lack thereof
The list goes on. There is nothing a coach cannot help you with on your path forward. However, they do have limitations. Life coaches are not there to:
Identify your mental health concerns or
Help ease past traumas
Here are the top 3 things you can keep in mind that a life coach can definitely help you with:
Goal Identification and Prioritization
Most people don’t have a lack of ambition. Instead, they lack vision and clarity. We find ourselves stuck in the rat race – yes, that was me too – chasing some sort of vision of what we think is success. That which society portrays as success.
Consequently, most of us live our lives doing what we think we should be doing by following a certain routine:
Finish school
Go to college
Get the “right” job
Start a family
Retire and have the whole cycle repeat itself with the next generation.
However, when you work with a life coach you begin to connect with yourself and break away from those old patterns and cycles. Ultimately, you allow yourself to create a life that you want based on your own standards.
You get to choose what balance looks like for you and what makes you feel empowered and in control. You no longer live by society’s standards.
Cultivating and Transitioning
Life coaches can be of great aid in moments of transitioning. Change can be daunting and overwhelming at times and we might get lost in all of it. That’s where a life coach can come in handy.
Whether you’re going through a rough divorce or changing to a whole new career, a life coach can help keep you grounded.
When you’re wondering who you are outside of your marriage or who you are when you’re no longer working (due to retirement), a life coach can help you reframe those questions and personal narrative. They can help you become empowered again when you’re entering new changes.
Support
Finally, life coaches can be a great source of support and comfort. We all have our doubts when embarking on something new and unknown. Yes, I have a wonderful support system encouraging and cheering me on every step of the way.
But it only took that one person, one session, to get me to believe in myself. To wash away those limiting beliefs. We often feel like family and close friends have to say all the nice things about our plans for the future. So, we don’t always put all our trust in them. Harsh, but true.
How many times have you not watched someone on American Idol make the biggest fool of themselves on international television? Who are their biggest cheerleaders? Their mom! A coach is there to mirror back the potential you already have within you. They reflect your inner brilliance so that you can go out and cement it into your reality. They will not encourage you to do something you’re not great at. Instead, they’ll challenge you to meet your goals with conviction, accountability and courage.
We all experience emotions and we experience them differently. But is there a way that we can take advantage of our emotions and use them in an effective manner?
In this article I will show how to use emotions to your advantage with a few examples.
Emotions in Motion
Remember, emotions are only the physical sensations like a racing heartbeat, sweaty palms and so forth.
Feelings on the other hand are your subjective interpretation of your emotions. These are accommodated by thoughts and depending on your interpretation it can actually increase your physical emotional state.
Thus, the one affects the other. We can find ourselves in a loop and, unless we find ways to stop this loop, we can get stuck. Either we find a way to regulate our emotions or we can use it to our advantage.
Firstly, we have to understand the difference between positive and negative emotions.
Positive and Negative Emotions: The Physical Aspect
Positive emotions are accompanied by positive feelings and thoughts. According to Kendra Cherry, there are six basic emotions. They are happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, disgust and anger.
Physically these emotions have the following effect on us:
Happiness. Cortisol is lowered while there is an increase in endorphins and serotonin. A happy person may even experience rising levels of salivation, body temperature, sweating and metabolism.
Surprise. Adrenaline and dopamine is released. Surprise can be either positive or negative, depending on the situation, but the physical sensations are the same. The heart rate lowers while blood pressure goes up.
Sadness. This emotion affects the heart by altering levels of stress-related opioids in the brain and increases levels of inflammatory proteins. Increases heart rate and dilates blood vessels.
Fear. Blood pressure and heart rate increases from the increase in cortisol and adrenaline. This also causes your breathing to increase.
Disgust. Heart rate may slow down; feeling of nausea may set in which would then increase salivation.
Anger. Increased heart rate, cortisol and adrenaline. There’s also an increase in body temperature, blood pressure and breathing. It weakens the immune system and can increase chances of heart problems.
Although I did not mention all the physical aspects of each of the main emotions, it’s clear to see that some have a lot of similarities in physical traits. It’s up to our thoughts and feelings’ interpretation to tell us whether what we are experiencing is either positive or negative.
So, the question remains: How can you use emotions to your advantage?
Ways to Use Emotions to Your Advantage
Finally, we get to the good part where we can learn to use our emotions, whether positive or negative, to our advantage. The first step is to read my article: Regulation of Emotions as Adults.
Happiness
Not surprisingly, happiness fuels success. The happier we are, the more successful we will be. However, success is subjective and some people believe that just to be happy is achieving success. According to Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage,
“When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive. This discovery has been repeatedly supported by research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the world.”
This is a sure way to improve performance and maximize your potential. A definite must-read. If you’re someone who struggles a lot with creativity, it would be best to tackle a creative task or project when you are at your happiest.
Surprise
According to Tania Luna and Leeann Renninger, surprise can bring vitality to our lives whether good or bad. Surprise increases dopamine levels which help us to focus our attention and inspires us to look at our situation in different ways.
They outline four stages of surprise which can be used to our advantage:
Freeze. Part of the fight or flight reaction. This causes us to take in as much information as we possibly can in the shortest amount of time.
Find. It can promote curiosity which can shape our worldview.
Shift. Shifting our perspectives, based on conflicting findings.
Share. Sharing can help us savour the experience and relieve us of the “cognitive burden” of the surprise. In my opinion, it also increases communication and can even elevate it.
Imagine you’re talking to someone with conflicting ideas but you find yourself being surprised by the sane conversation. You start to ask more questions and learn quite a lot that you didn’t know before and this can possibly change the way you think about the topic. Afterwards you go home and tell your partner about everything which sparks up a great conversation and shifting of perspectives.
Sadness
Psychologists believe that negative feelings may alert us to things we need to respond to. In the case of feeling sad, there are multiple benefits including (Steven Mehta, Mediation Offices):
Increases memory retention by cutting down on distractions like false, irrelevant or misleading information.
May remove biases and distortions. It also reduces gullibility and increase scepticism.
Having a bad mood may lead to increased perseverance.
Improved communication by being more attentive and having a detailed thinking style.
May lead to more persuasive and effective arguments and a better understanding of ambiguous sentences.
Fear
Emotion theorists believe that fear can serve a functional purpose. Corrective action may be the message that someone with fear is receiving.
Fear my serve as a motivator to persevere. Notice how both fear and sadness have the same or similar physical reactions by increasing heart rate, blood pressure and release of similar hormones. Therefore, they can serve the same benefits.
Disgust
One of the first things we do when we experience disgust is turn our heads away from that which causes disgust. Therefore, it would make sense that we would avoid risky situations when experiencing disgust.
Disgust can keep us from eating old of off food since it can lead to food poisoning. But it can also motivate us to not do something that we find, well, disgusting.
Some examples would include being disgusted by certain (deviant) sexual acts. Some of which, like rape, could land you in jail. Or doing some “spicy” sexual act could cause trauma, hence why we react to it in a negative manner.
Anger
Individuals filled with anger may be less likely to think in a systematic manner and more likely to improvise. This means they become more flexible and unstructured in their thought processes.
This thought processes is akin to seeing the “bigger picture” which is beneficial for brain storming sessions
Anger can also generate sustained attention which is required for problem solving. Researchers have also found a link between anger and increased performance in negotiations.
Again, both sadness and anger display similar physiological sensations and therefore share a lot of the same benefits.
Conclusion
There you have it: How to use emotions to your advantage. Whether positive or negative, they can be put to great use in a positive way.
I do recommend finding ways to regulate and become aware of your emotions first, especially when they are negative emotions, before learning how to use emotions to your advantage.
It may be a bit too challenging to find yourself in a heated discussion and then try to solve a problem without first having control over your emotions. Therefore, first regain control before taking advantage.
