Category: Girl’s Guide

The Girl’s Guide is there to help young girls navigate their life through puberty, their teens and into young adulthood. These are for the young women who are growing up without a female figure in their lives to guide them through this time of hormones, periods, being in love and fitting in.

This guide can also be for women of any age who need inspiration and motivation to keep going. I feature other inspiring women on this page to show that no matter what you current path is, success can always be attained through hard work, staying positive and not allowing anything or anyone to stand in their way of success.

Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

I’d like to touch on the subject of the effects of verbal and emotional abuse on women. The two are closely connected since being verbally abused can cause emotional trauma.

This article will also give some tips on what you can do to minimize the effect that verbal and emotional abuse may have. I’ll also discuss the following:

The long-term effects of emotional abuse
How verbal and emotional abuse can affect an individual physically (the physical manifestation of aforementioned abuse)

Forms of Abuse

Abuse can come in many forms such as physical, emotional, sexual and verbal abuse being some of the more recognized forms of abuse. Some even hold the idea that if the abuse cannot physically be seen, then how can it be abuse?

Unfortunately, this misconception is more evident than originally thought. Usually, physical abuse is measured by the amount, rate and severity of the bruising. But how then is emotional or verbal abuse measured?

Emotional and verbal abuse have short-term as well as long-lasting effects on the victim. They are just as serious as physical abuse although it cannot be noted physically.

Verbal and emotional abuse includes isolation, exerting control over the victim, insults and attempts to scare. In a previous article, 5 Types of Hidden Verbal Abuse, I listed and explained the following types of verbal abuse that anyone can look out for:

Gaslighting
Silent treatment
Countering
Judging and criticizing as types of abuse
Forgetting

Please take the time to go through some of these to establish whether you, or someone you know might be a victim of verbal abuse.

A Few Statistics

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 48.4% of women have experienced at least one form of emotional abuse by an intimate partner. For men, this number is 48.8%.

Forty percent of both men and women have experienced controlling behavior by an intimate partner. Verbal and emotional abuse can happen to anyone, not just women. They can happen to men and children too.

Ninety five percent of men who physically abuse their partners, also verbally and emotionally abuse them.

Long-Term Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

Well, there are long-term effect of verbal abuse on women, as well as men. There might be slight differences in the way men deal with psychological abuse than women. Therefore, this article has its focus on women who suffer from verbal and emotional abuse.

According to the NACDV, these forms of abuse cause long-term damage to the victim’s mental health. They may experience:

Depression
Anxiety
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Suicidal ideation
Low self-esteem
Have difficulty trusting others
Social withdrawal and isolation
Chronic pain

Another shocking fact is that psychological abuse increases the trauma experienced from physical and sexual abuse.

Verbal abuse can be confusing since the abuse may not occur all the time. The abuse may happen slowly and over time and will be subtle at first.

Consequently, the abuser may even be loving, gentle and kind at times causing the victim to forget about the negative behavior. The victim may end up not noticing the pattern of abuse and will most likely end up making excuses for the negative behavior of the abuser.

How To Tell If You’re Being Verbally or Mentally Abused

If you are wondering whether or not you are being abused either mentally or verbally, then you probably are. However, if you are wondering what to look at for, you can identify if your partner does any of the following:

Threaten to harm (you, a family member, loved one or a pet)
Make you feel worthless and tells you that no one else will love you the way s/he does?
Exert control over you and your behavior. They may track your movements throughout the day
Make demeaning remarks in public and when others are around
Blame you when things go wrong
Make you feel guilty over things you have no control over
Constantly criticize you
Isolation from friends and family

What Can Be Done to Minimize The Effects of Verbal Abuse on Women

Always remember that it is your body, your mind and your life. Therefore, you have full control over what you will and will not accept from others. You do not ever have to accept any form of abuse for love.

The moment that you have to give up control over your own self for love, it is no longer love. Love does not and should not make you feel less-than, humiliated or worthless.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, there are a few things you can do. However, I recommend doing these at the start of any relationship. There’s no need to wait for abuse to start before doing these.

Set Clear Boundaries

In an article, 5 Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries for Relationships, I mention why it’s important to set these boundaries beforehand.

The 5 boundaries that should be set are:

Identity outside of the relationship
Accepting help
Letting your partner know when you are uncomfortable and what it is that makes you feel that way
Stand up for yourself especially in arguments or heated moments
Protect your right to privacy

Limit Exposure

Limiting exposure can only happen after the abuse has started. This may be difficult to do in some cases as most women of abuse have already pushed friends and family away at the demand of the abuser.

But, if possible, get out and spend time with family and friends who treat you right. Even though you may have pushed them away, they will still be there when you need them most.

Take this time to re-evaluate your relationship.

End The Relationship

It may not feel like it, but it’s the right thing to do. The abuse may never end and the abuser will likely beg for you to stay and claim that they have changed.

Things may go well for a short while before the abuse continues. Unfortunately, these individuals need to control someone and they need to feel like others are dependent on them. It’s not healthy. Get out.

Seek Help

The best thing you can do is to seek help. Healing from emotional and verbal abuse may not be something you can do on your own. Especially not if you’re suffering from trauma.

Reach out for support from a friend or family member who is a really good listener. They may be able to help with processing your emotions and developing healthy coping skills.

What Makes a Woman Inspirational

In this article of what makes a woman inspirational, we’ve done some digging of one of South Africa’s most inspiring women – Elma Smit. Best known for her work as SuperSport television presenter, the charismatic South African has now broadened her horizons as she is living and working in the UK.

In this article we look at:

what makes a woman inspirational
her views on becoming an influencer
some of the adversity she’s faced in the past that led her to where she is today

Not Just a Pretty Face

Image from her Instagram Page @elmakapelma

Elma obtained a degree in law from Stellenbosch University as well as a post graduate degree in Journalism from the University of Witwatersrand.

She attended an Afrikaans high school in Paarl, she told Rugby Journal weekly, “My first language is Afrikaans, I couldn’t speak English until I was nineteen. So, I hosted my radio show in Afrikaans, got my entire degree in Afrikaans.”

This is just a testament that no matter what obstacles you may face, where there’s a will there’s a way. And in Elma’s case, there was a way. She never once backed down from any obstacle but rather tackled them head-on. This led her on her road to success.

Woman of Many Talents

In September 2021 Smit signed with British based media production company Whisper. She had previously done freelance work for them on South African based projects.

Commercial Director Geoff Riding had the following to say, “I’m really pleased to be welcoming Elma to the UK and I’m thrilled she is now a permanent member of the Whisper Team. We’ve loved working with Elma this summer and she’s produced stand out content, giving fans an immersive behind-the-scenes look into life with the current Rugby Union World Champions on the recent Lions’ Tour.”

Smit works as both a presenter and producer along side her growing team who now has presence in Europe, Australasia and South Africa. Smit is the first Afrikaans born female to land a high-profile job in this field abroad.

On Facing Adversity

Before the 2011 Rugby World Cup, Supersport (local sports broadcaster) had never before had a female anchor and they launched a talent search competition called Lady Rugga. At the auditions Smit had to pretend a swarm of bees had attacked the rugby field and she had to report on what she saw.

Smit had the following to say after winning the competition:

“I went on to win but then there was this big media storm because a lot of people were saying it was ridiculous, and, ‘why can’t they just hire a woman that is good at this?’’

However, 2019 was a turning point for Smit when she became the face of the Cricket World Cup and the Rugby World Cup.

On Becoming an Influencer

Elma is also a content creator, she has more than 60k followers on twitter and 90k followers on Instagram. She also runs her own website (which is currently down). In 2020 she published her first book called Become an Influencer.

In and interview with a major news broadcasting channel in South Africa Elma mentions that there’s this stigma among South Africans that we’re so much more behind than the rest of the world. And that becoming an influencer in SA requires access to a “secret source”. Surely enough, she cracked the code.

She realized that SA actually had something to share and that the people are quite nimble and change-fit. This is due to our environment and how small our media industry is.

Elma points out that we actually have experience in things most other countries don’t have, like:

approaching and speaking with a diverse audience and
being socially conscious

She used the tools she already had in her toolbox, filled gaps with the acquirement of new tools and used them to her advantage. Some of the realizations she had on becoming an influencer includes:

You don’t have to be a 17-year old TikTok star
There’s really no aesthetic requirement(s)
And there’s no need to constantly be posing in provocative wear to gain traction

This is what makes a woman a real influencer. To see the whole interview:

eNCA – News Broadcasting Channel

Hard Work, Dedication

What Elma has accomplished in her career thus far is a testament to her work ethic, passion for what she does and perseverance. Her positive attitude shines through her television work and the different platforms she writes and produces on.

She dipped her toes in a variety of lifestyle topics including live music, news, entertainment and commercial radio. In her short career she has worked as a live music show host, radio presenter / producer, MC, sports journalist, and sports anchor on television.

This is what makes a woman an inspiration. She is a multi-faceted, talented individual who stops at nothing to reach her goals. Smit is dedicated, resilient and brave. Her dedication to have a positive influence on others shines through the work that she does.

This article was written by Francois Engelbrecht and edited by Elke Gildenhuys before being published.

How to Handle Toxic Femininity

In my previous two articles on the topic (Toxic Femininity: What is it? and How Toxic Femininity is Damaging Us) I touched on the topic’s definition, what it is as well as the psychological aspect of it.

In this article I discuss the ways on how to handle toxic femininity. I will focus on the following as well:

How to handle it if noticed within the self and others
How to shift the mindset from toxic to something more healthy
Increase awareness around ourselves and our own thoughts

Noticing Toxic Femininity Within the Self or Others

Explore and try new things – have a curious mindset

More than not it’s easier to notice when someone else displays traits of toxic femininity and we find it difficult to notice it within ourselves. For example your friend might be worried about your choice to not have children. But you are worried that she’s not cooking every night to take care of her family.

So, let’s look at ways on how to handle toxic femininity if we notice it within ourselves or others.

Where does your beliefs stem from

This means going back to the source. Where did you first hear the term? What ideas did you pick up from what toxic femininity is and how does it differ from what you already believe? Understanding where the idea came from will be the first step in untangling these toxic ideas from your own beliefs.

Question your motivations

Question why you are doing the things you are doing. Do you feel like you should just because of your sex or gender, or is it something you truly want to do?

If you want to be a housewife, and not because it was something you grew up with, then that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you automatically choose a patriarchal system. Be authentically you. Do what makes you happy. There aren’t only two positions: patriarchy and feminism.

notice where you feel most pressured to conform

Take note of your surroundings when you feel the most prompted to conform. Are you with a group of opinionated, strong-willed friends who preach their values proudly? If you don’t feel the same way when you’re not with them, that’s okay. Don’t fall prey to group-think.

Whatever the scenario, if you feel the urge to agree although it’s not what you necessarily feel or agree with, it would be wise to distance yourself from these scenarios.

don’t be afraid to explore

You have to allow yourself to discover those aspects of your identity that goes against the norm. Don’t reject them as soon as they arise. They are there for a reason.

Reflect and question. Try to figure out where these aspects or thoughts are coming from. Question and explore them. There’s absolutely no harm in getting to know yourself better.

what media are you consuming

Consider limiting media outlets if you notice that they promote toxic femininity. These can include social media accounts and written publications.

However, it’s always a good idea to have knowledge of the ideals that you agree with as well as don’t agree with. Be wholly informed rather than following a belief blindly.

approach others with an open mind

If you’re not sure on how to handle other people’s comments and beliefs on toxic femininity it might be a good idea to ask. Don’t automatically start accusing that person. Ask them why they feel so strongly about X Y and Z.

adopt a no judgement mentality

Whether you agree with someone or not, remember it’s their choice. Support their self-expression even though you might not agree. Remember, you don’t want someone else attacking you for what you believe in, so don’t go around attacking and accusing others for their beliefs.

Remember to ask open-ended questions, practice active listening and avoid criticizing. To achieve an honest and productive conversation, both parties need to feel emotionally safe and supported.

Shifting Your Mindset From Toxic and Becoming Self-Aware

Instead of having a mindset fixated on the toxic things of the world, why not change it to a curious mindset?

According to Uprise Health having a curious mindset is to have an urge to observe the world around us. Learn everything you can and discover new ways of doing and thinking.

Why not approach the world with delight and wonder. Find new thoughts and feelings fascinating. Here are a few simple steps you can take to achieve that:

Be open to new things. Learn what you can about the things you agree with as well as what you don’t necessarily agree with. It’s always good to try and understand things from a different perspective if you have all the information.
Ask questions, as mentioned earlier. Show others that you are interested in their ways of thinking. Explore their reasoning and ideas and see where you might agree on things. You might be surprised by how similar others are to you.
Limit technology. Consuming too much might leave you feeling more confused. However, when you make use of technology, seek sources that can be trusted. Don’t believe everything you read or watch. AI is on the rise and some people are putting out false information in the world.
This one is complementary to the previous steps. Practice being mindful. Mindfulness will help you focus on the present. It will help you focus your thoughts and show gratitude for what you have and where you are.

Conclusion

Now that you have an idea on how to handle toxic femininity you can go out into the world with an open mind and explore everything it has to offer. Don’t stay stuck in your own mind and thoughts.

Not everything has to be toxic and band, it’s what we make of it.

How Toxic Femininity is Damaging Us

In this article I discuss how toxic femininity is damaging us and society. I go into the psychological effects that toxic femininity has on us, as people.

This is part 2 of a 3-part series of articles. Please take the time to check out part 1: Toxic Femininity: What is it? where I give its myriad of definitions as well as examples of what it looks like.

The Psychological Affects of Toxic Femininity

In my previous article I touched on the definitions of toxic femininity which includes the dangerously negative impact of the standards that society places on women. It also includes how women use their feminine traits in such a way that’s harmful to others.

the psychological effects of gender stereotypes

It’s important that we look at the role of gender stereotypes and how these affect our mental health.

According to the NIH there exist the belief that it’s easier for women to express their emotions and articulate their distress to others.

How easy is it really for women to express their emotions if they constantly feel like they have no one to talk to. Or that they feel pressured to be in constant competition with other more successful women?

Women who are earning their wage in an “honest” way are competing with women who sell their bodies or their sexuality (onlyfans, p*rn etc.) and vice versa. Each trying to make more money than the other since success is measured by wealth, right? Shouldn’t we try to change the way we see success? Success is supposed to be a personal experience rather than a globalized doctrine through wealth and likes.

However, it is also said that girls are more likely to harm their bodies or develop eating disorders. But they may also experience suicidal thoughts. Is this not indicative of how toxic femininity is damaging us?

Is this really what we want? Toxic femininity may be linked to gender dysphoria, feeling like they’re in the wrong body. You know why? Because we make them feel like they are nothing. That each trait that is intrinsically female is toxic. No wonder girls don’t want to be girls. The same thing goes for boys. Boys no longer want to be boys since they’re being blamed for everything that’s wrong with society.

Toxic femininity does not start once you hit a certain age, it’s being indoctrinated, tattooed into our minds from the first day of school.

Instead of being our own unique, authentic selves we’re all trying to become something that society tells us to become. They achieve this by manipulating us into thinking we can be whoever and whatever we want as long as we don’t display certain traits that are now rendered “gross” or “disgusting”.

Not fitting the narrative of gender roles

Historically, as documented in the NIH, women’s mental health was said to be more vulnerable during certain periods. These periods include pregnancy and during their menstrual cycle. This is what we call hormones.

Women who did not appear to enjoy being a mother were seen as being mentally “unwell”. But according to society all women must want to have children. Because women are supposed to be caretakers, nurturing and gentle. There’s nothing wrong with an individual if they choose not to have children.

However, in recent years there’s been a rising concern regarding individuals whose gender roles does not “fit” their lived identity. Meaning a girl does not feel like she’s a girl, but rather a boy. Same goes for boys. This causes mental distress.

Although, previously this was seen as gender dysphoria and treated as such. However, the WHO no longer sees it as a mental health problem, but simply as experiencing distress.

It’s no longer seen as a mental health disorder because society created the problem in the first place. Instead of letting the individual know that it’s okay to feel that way and that they don’t have to conform to society’s expectations of women, they actually encourage them to continue feeling like an outsider. All this just to mutilate their bodies and still be unhappy – if not even more so.

biological differences

We often hear that gender inequality and gender stereotypes are the causes of mental health. Let’s take an example of an article written on Medical News Today:

Women are, in comparison to men:

twice as likely to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, depression and PTSD
4-10 times more likely to develop an eating disorder and
more likely to attempt suicide. Although, males are nearly 4 times as likely to actually die by suicide.

It’s easy to blame mental health on stereotypes or socioeconomic factors rather than biological factors. We need to place the blame somewhere, right? And it’s easier to blame something tangible.

Let’s take a look at biological factors for a second, especially the brain:

According to Northwestern Medicine there are differences in male and female brain chemistry. These changes in brain chemistry results in processing patterns being different as well. This means that hormones like serotonin is processed differently in women making them more susceptible to anxiety and depression.

There exist correlations between hormones and particular health conditions including mental health. This is shown by a study done by Xin, Zhang, Tang and Yang in Frontiers in Neuroscience.

They found “gender-related difference in the cerebellar-thalamic-cortical circuitry. ” and this could result in gender-prone neurological degenerative diseases like Parkinson’s Disease.

It was also found that gender-related differences exist in the limbic-thalamo-cortical circuitry. The result is: “White matter changes in the anterior corona radiata could result in many of the cognitive and emotion regulation disturbances“.

the result?

It starts with brain chemistry and biological factors such as genetics. However, I believe that socioeconomic factors can worsen the degrees of mental health.

If someone is predisposed to depression then the likelihood of it being triggered by outside factors like inequality is great. The two go hand-in-hand. It’s the nature-nurture debate all over.

It’s important to remember that gender is biological first. Thereafter it’s ideological. Identity and self-image are the products of how we negotiate through biology and ideology.

Conclusion

Toxic femininity is no longer just based on certain traits, but becomes a narrative. A societal mindset, if you will.

In conclusion, toxic femininity is putting us up against each other and with ourselves. We’re in constant battle with everyone and ourselves. Society is creating a discourse on gender and everyone just has to accept it.

We’re seeing more and more identity crises than before. Children are being confused in schools. And the older you get the more wrong you feel for the choices you make since it’s not what society wants from you.

At the end of the day we have to realize that society created gender roles. And now they’re creating neutral roles. Where we all have to be something other than that which we were born to be. They call it “being free” and creating “gender equality”, but why do we feel even more divided than ever? This is how toxic femininity is damaging us.

Toxic Femininity: What is it?

This week I’ll be focusing on toxic femininity. This is the first of a 3-part series. The focus will be on the following:

What it is
An in-depth psychological aspect of what it encompasses
How it affects society
What positives can we get out of this. How we can shift our mindset from toxic to safe or even inspirational

For this article we’ll only touch the surface of what toxic femininity is and I’ll some examples. Let’s get into it.

What is Toxic Femininity?

Disclaimer: Most of the research that I had done on this is not necessarily things that I agree with, however there are parts that I do agree with. I just want to make clear that the following is research-based and not my own opinion unless stated otherwise.

Please read to the end to get my opinion on the matter and reason for tackling this topic.

Defining toxic femininity

According to Rebecca Strong toxic femininity is a term used to describe the “potentially negative impact of society’s standards for women”. One of these standards are beauty. I’ve written an article on the negative impact the beauty industry has on women. Please take the time to read more about it here.

There is no clear definition of the term and so everyone and their mother has their own definition for it. Anti-feminists define it as making use of feminine qualities to manipulate men.

However, most experts agree that it involves the restriction of behavior to fit stereotypical traits that are pleasing to men.

Sean Galla puts it simply as “gender-specific expectations for women that are supposed to keep them quiet, subservient, and submissive“. He further goes on to explain that the term is sometimes used by women to receive privileges. However, this is open to interpretation.

To put it simply

Women and men are both borne with certain expectations even before birth. Boys are taught to play soccer, rugby and perhaps some form of martial arts.

Whereas girls are rather kept inside to help with cooking, taught to clean and had to focus on developing their fine motor skills. They play with dolls, draw more often, play doctor and so forth.

As these children get older they are pushed to fit a standard rather than being their authentic selves. Doing something that they want to do. Becoming who they feel most right to become.

Gender roles have been so ingrained in us that it’s hard to shake off or give a blind eye to. However, I do believe that masculinity and femininity falls on a continuum. Let me explain.

There are certain things that women are intrinsically better at than what men are and vice versa. This is normal. Women are much better at intuitive thinking, drawing conclusions and analyzing whereas men have stronger motor skills and a heightened perception (Northwestern Medicine). This is due to how our brains are wired. This is not as a result of male domination or living in a patriarchal society.

However, toxic femininity and masculinity becomes a problem when these “gender roles” are pushed to the extremes. When these cultural and societal expectations are not relative to our DNA and women are told to fit a narrative that they don’t necessarily want to fulfill.

What Does Toxic Femininity Look Like?

Since the term cannot be specifically defined it can be difficult to give clear examples. Looking at the definitions given above, toxic femininity can look like the following:

Women are supposed to stay at home and fulfill their child-rearing duties.
Society looks down on women who make the decision to not have children.
Women in the workplace sometimes have to use their bodies/looks to advance in their careers rather than getting the promotion based on performance.
Females should know their place and handle confrontation with grace. They are not allowed to get angry and physical as it is not a “good look” on them.
Specific jobs are more catered to females and they should rather stick to those like nursing, teaching, ballet etc.
Hearing that real women have curves (we’re not all built the same).
Women being criticized for growing hair on their legs and underarms.

The Other Side of the Coin

There’s another definition of toxic femininity that I found to be the most disturbing of them all. That is that women use their feminine traits in such a way that it harms others (not only men). These can be seen in the following examples:

Having an utter disdain for men. Thinking that all men want to have sex with them, cheat or traumatize them.
Wanting so badly to be equal to men but in the same breath is praying for the downfall of men.
Playing the victim to avoid responsibility or even accountability. This includes rationalizing actions due to being oppressed.
Women ostracizing other women if they’re more successful.

From Liveabout.com as seen by Sydney Watson

Using their emotions as a weapon of abuse. It also includes verbal and psychological abuse as per a study done by the NIH.

My Opinion

My opinion on the topic is simple: women need men and men need women. Women and men are bashing each other in social media and for what?

Men are being targeted and told that all they do is strut around with their toxic traits telling the weaker sex what to do. But this is not true.

Women are targeted and told that all they do is use their bodies to gain advancement and furthermore to ostracize other women who achieved success without using their bodies. This too is not true.

We are all made differently – it’s in our DNA to not be the same. When war breaks out (taking as an example Ukraine and Russia), who is at the front line? Men! How many women would volunteer to either blow up and kill or get blown up and be killed?

Both sexes need each other to pro-create. If we’re constantly bashing each other and hating on each other the human race will not survive. Thus my reason for tackling this topic is to showcase how we are different, but also how badly we need each other.

And if you think you don’t need the opposite sex just take a moment to think how the world would be with 6 billion of yourself. No one is made perfect, we all have “bad” traits, but we also have good traits. We need each other to complement each other.

Conclusion

From my perspective it is clear to see that there really isn’t a clear, concise definition of what toxic femininity is. However, it does seem that it all boils down to the same thing: female traits that are seen as negative.

I hold the opinion that both men and women have traits that are seen as negative if used in the wrong way. But it is easier for women to “get away” with it as they are already seen as the weaker sex.

It’s okay for a women to physically abuse a man, because she’s weaker. No! It’s not okay. Toxic femininity carries a wide variety of traits and characteristics and I’ve only covered the tip of the iceberg.

For my next article I’ll cover the following:

An in-depth psychological aspect of what it encompasses
How it affects society

International Women’s Day: Show Some Love

We’re finally here, International Women’s Day 2023. Today is all about women. If you haven’t yet read my post on Women in Power or The role women played in shaping history, please click the links and check it out.

Today’s post is all about celebrating women and what you can do to celebrate the women in your life. What can you do today (and the rest of the year) to celebrate the important role that women have to take?

She’s a Mom

There’s only one person in the world that can be a mom. And that’s your mom. Whether your adoptive mom or biological, she’s one of a kind and deserves to be recognized.

She has a full time job and it doesn’t end when the lights go out. Nor does she receive a pay-cheque at the end of the month. Her sole purpose is to look after and stress about you.

Why not show her some love with an Audible membership? First 30 days are free. That way she can listen to her favorite books, Audible originals and podcasts while fretting over you!?

She’s a Sister

For international lady day, your sister is not only biological. She can be your sister in all aspects of the word. Her friendship and loyalty is something to admire.

This sister has always been there for you – through the ups and downs. You have thousands of selfies together and a fun time is not fun without her. She is irreplaceable and thus deserves recognition.

Why not get her this Coconut and Charcoal Underarm Detox Scrub – a luxurious scrub that she wants, but won’t buy for herself? It’s vegan, cruelty free and recyclable.

She’s an International Superstar

Or at least she’s an international superstar in your eyes. The world would not be the same without her.

She is the epitome of courage and resilience. She’s faced so many obstacles and yet she can hold her head high and look forward. There is nothing in the world that can get her down.

Why not show her some pampering love with The Body Shop Gift Set to let her know she doesn’t always have to be a tough cookie. Melt her heart with some shea butter products that’s cruelty free and vegan.

Perhaps She’s a Co-Worker

She works hard at her job and never complains. She’s always at work and rarely sick. You know why? Because her ambitious nature doesn’t allow her body time to be sick.

Her default mode is “Go go go”. These women feel the pressures of the world on their shoulders. They have to work harder than anyone else to be seen, and even then they might not get the promotion they deserve.

But you can make her feel like a queen, even if only for a moment. Get her this Thank You Gift Box available on Amazon. It’s sure to make her feel like a queen and recognized for her amazing work ethic.

Does It Matter Who She Is?

Regardless of who she is, she’s special in her own unique way. She might be a wife, a best friend, heck she can be your neighbor who’s always watering your plants when she’s caring for her own.

No matter who the lady is, she’s a lady. We have overwhelming emotions at times and perhaps we’re not as equipped to keep them tucked inside like others. We have short bursts of freak-outs and sometimes we don’t know how to put everything in words. But that’s what makes us different and unique.

Each of us are different. On international lady day I’d like everyone to celebrate our differences, our uniqueness and how we’re always getting up again. I’d like you to comment something special about the woman in your life and why you chose to celebrate them this month.

Celebrating International Women’s Month: Women in Power

In light of international women’s month, we’ll be talking about women in power. Some of the topics I’ll be touching on will include:

The most powerful women according to Forbes 2022
Why women in leadership positions matter
I’ll include a couple of women owned businesses

Why Women In Leadership Positions Matter

Firstly, I don’t want men to think that they do not have a place in business. They do. Men bring things to the table that women don’t. However, in the past women were severed from positions of power and in some countries women are still not allowed certain provisions like education or even a career.

Let’s look at some of the reasons women in power or leadership positions are important. The Global Strategy Group made the following claims when they had a study done of 1011 participants:

a lack of representation of women in power

The study found that women hold only 4% of leadership positions in Fortune 500 companies. This means that there is not enough female representation in leadership positions.

24% Of individuals claim that there are no women in leadership positions within their respective companies. While 34% of participants claim that their workplace places high priority in having women in power positions.

A staggering 96% of participants said that women and men are equally qualified to lead businesses. So why then the 10% discrepancy between those that actually have leadership positions and companies claiming to place a high priority on women in power positions? This means that not enough is being done.

preconceived ideas of the female role is what’s holding women back

Over 90% of participants said that certain traditions and cultural expectations contribute (somewhat) to the lack of female representation in higher positions.

Women are still being seen as placing family over career and 78% claim that women are less effective leaders than their male counterparts. A couple of other barriers that women face are:

a lack of support from mentors when it comes to securing top positions and / or career advancement
there’s a lack of access to certain connections that are available to men which help with career development

A positive impact on workplace policies are seen when there are women in power

Some of the significant positive impacts that have been noted when women are placed in leadership positions include:

a reduction in pay gap between men and women in the same position
workplace policies are adjusted to benefit both men and women
it attracts a more diverse workforce

Most Powerful Women According to Forbes 2022

According to the December 2022 Forbes article, the following was determined:

“The list was determined by four main metrics: money, media, impact and spheres of influence. For political leaders, we weighed gross domestic products and populations; for corporate leaders, revenues and employee counts; and media mentions and reach of all. The result is a collection of women who are fighting the status quo.”

The list includes the following women in power:

FALGUNI NAYAR (89)

In 2012, Nayar ender her career as investment banker and invested $2 million of her savings to launch Nykaa. Nykaa is a beauty and retail company. In 2021 the company went public and she became the richest self-made woman in India.

TSAI ING-WEN (17)

Ing-wen is the first female, unmarried, to become the leader of Taiwan in 2016. She has vowed to make Taiwan and indispensable member of the world. Ing-wen did this through introducing initiatives in green energy and biotech. She was reelected in 2020 and continues to serve as Taiwan’s president.

SUSAN WOJCICKI (23)

From 2014 until February 2023, Wojcicki served as the CEO of Alphabet. She is currently serving an advisory role to Google and Alphabet. Hired in 1999 by Google, Wojcicki worked on AdSense, Google Analytics, Google Books and Google Images just to name a few.

JANET YELLEN (33)

A woman of firsts, Yellen was the first woman to hold the position of chair of the Federal Reserve in 2014. She’s the only woman in U.S history to the the U.S Treasury, the president’s Council of Economic Advisers and the Federal Reserve. She is also the first woman to be named the U.S Treasury Secretary in 2021.

A FEW OTHER NAMES ON THE TOP 100 LIST AS RATED BY FORBES

Kamala Harris (3)
Oprah Winfrey (24)
Hana Al Rostamani from the UAE (60)
Rihanna (73)
Mary Meeker (75)
Taylor Swift (79)
Beyoncé Knowles (80)
Reese Witherspoon (86)
Shonda Rhimes (93)

Women-Owned Businesses

Darlyng & Co. This is a black-owned site that takes the guesswork out of picking the right products for your little one. It includes everything from clothing, blankets, toothpaste, bottles and other necessities.

Mented Cosmetics. Hard to find a good nude lip color? Look no further. This is one of questions that sparked the idea for Mented Cosmetics. They believe that all women should be able to find themselves in a world of beauty regardless of skin tone.

LivSo. These products are expertly crafted and formulated from natural ingredients. The range includes skincare and haircare products.

For more female-owned businesses, please check out this article. All products available on Amazon.com.

How Women Have Shaped History in the Last Century

Women’s history month started on March 1, 2023 and will end on March 31, 2023. Women have long been part of shaping history in all aspects and most countries.

We deserve to be celebrated in some way or another. In this article I’ll discuss the following topics:

5 Ways how women shaped history and the world
Ways how you can show a little more appreciation for all the women in your life throughout the year

5 Ways Women Shaped History

There are more ways that women shaped history and the world, however I will only name a few. Sometimes women don’t get enough recognition for what they are doing to change the world for the better.

Before we jump into the ways they helped shape history, let’s first look at what women bring to the table:

Self-awareness. Women tend to be more aware of they strengths, weaknesses and limitations. They don’t give in to self-belief and over-indulging in confidence. Some studies have indicated that women are less overconfident than men. This makes it easier for females to realistically spot gaps in where they currently are and where they want to be.
Motivation and transformation. Some studies indicate that women lead by transforming attitudes and beliefs and through inspiring others. The result is being able to align others with purpose and meaning. This leads to higher levels of team engagement, productivity and engagement.
Women are able to put others before themselves. They see success as a group effort rather than individual accomplishment.

Now, let’s jump into ways they shaped history!

1. Billie jean king: equality in sports

In 1973 King defeated Bobby Riggs in the “battle of the sexes” at the Houston Astrodome. She gained the largest worldwide audience for a tennis match. The audience reached over 90 million people.

2. Wangari maathai: nobel peace prize

Maathai was the first African women to win a Novel Peace Prize. She was awarded this prize in 2004. Maathai is a Kenyan environmental activist who founded a grassroots movement. The aim is at empowering rural female groups toward improvement of quality of life and conservations. This resulted in the largest tree-planting campaign in Africa.

3. drive to freedom

Before 2017 women were not given the right to drive in Saudi Arabia. Women’s rights activists campaigned for years against opposition before finally gaining freedom to drive in Saudi Arabia.

The country still has a long way to go regarding women’s rights, but they are hopeful that this change will start the momentum for further progress.

4. Margaret thatcher: first female prime minister of the Uk

This post would be nothing if we didn’t mention Margaret Thatcher. She lead Britain through the Cold War with President Ronal Reagan.

5. Shonda rhimes: changing television

This producer and screenwriter achieved so much in the world of television. She is the creator of Bridgerton, Grey’s Anatomy (my favorite) and Scandal (my granddad would never miss an episode!). She’s known for doing things differently.

Her main characters would not be the usual young, slender types. She would incorporate all shapes, sizes and ethnicities into her shows. In an interview for Oprah Daily she said:

“You look around, and you see people of all kinds. And right now, you don’t see women of all kinds on television.”

How You Can Show Appreciation to the Females in Your Life

Personally, I love just hearing a “thank you for”. To me it shows recognition for my contribution in a personal setting. I also give out “thank you for” praises to others, because respect is mutual.

A small gift every now and then would also suffice with a little thank you note. You don’t have to go all out. A bouquet of flowers or a favorite treat would be highly appreciated.

Another great way to support women in your community is supporting their businesses. Especially those just starting up. Amazon has a great link to support Women-owned small businesses that you can check out.

Some of my favorites are:

Sip Herbals. They have a variety of herbal coffees that are paleo, keto and vegan friendly. Their product comes in a variety of flavors, it’s healthy and easy to make.
Creations by Natalie. Her products are terrariums. They come in kits with a variety of moss and colored stones to choose from to give it some of your own personality. I LOVE plants and have them all over the house. Terrariums are easy to care for, colorful and beautiful.

Everything You Need to Know About Collagen

Collagen is important for healthy hair, skin and nails. It can also help reduce the progression of arthritis. In this article we will discuss the following:

What collagen is
Three most important types of collagen and
How you can get more of it in your diet

What is Collagen?

Collagen is a type of protein that hold a multitude of benefits. These benefits include hair, skin and nail health as well as cartilage health. This protein is found mainly in the structural protein in animals.

There are about 28 types of collagen that we are aware of. About 90% of this protein can be found in type 1. There are three types that are of utmost important but I’ll get into that later.

It’s found in connective tissue, tendons, bones, skin and cartilage. It also provides structural support to tissues and holds an important role when it comes to cellular processes.

Here are some of the benefits that can be found by taking a collagen supplement:

Skin health – a study has shown that taking a supplement has improved skin hydration, wrinkles and elasticity.
Bone health – another study showed that taking a daily supplement increased bone mineral density in postmenopausal women.
Arthritis – a reduction in symptoms related to osteoarthritis.
Improved body composition but only when combined with resistance training.
Hair and skin health – this is due to the protein biotin that is found in collagen.

Three Main Types of Collagen

Type 1: This type is responsible for minimizing fine lines and wrinkles. It improves skin hydration and elasticity. It’s also responsible for growing thick, glossy hair and strong nails. You can get this source of protein from Collazing – Alaskan Wild Caught Marine Collagen Protein Peptides.

Type 2: This type helps to build cartilage, connective tissue and is responsible for protecting joints. This includes spinal discs and your eyes. The best natural source of this protein is found in beef. Try Left Coast Performance Bone Broth Powder

Type 3: Has its findings in the digestive system. It’s responsible for a healthy digestive system, blood vessels, muscles and the uterus. Most supplements for this type of collagen will also support type 1.

For vegetarians and vegans you can try Plant-based Collagen Booster by Windsor Botanicals. It’s important to take supplements for those following a plant-based diet as most great sources of the protein is abundant in animals.

What About Your Skin?

Well, your skin needs to be taken care of from the outside as well. One of the favorites out there is L’Oreal Skincare Face Moisturizer which is found in most countries. It can also be used as a day and night cream, so need to buy two different products.

Another fan favorite with a star rating of 4.7 is Olay Regenerist Collagen Peptide 24 Max.

Remember, you should always follow a healthy diet with all your macro and micro nutrients as the production of collagen is mostly reliant on other vitamins. Take in enough fruits and vegetables and stay hydrated.

Things to do on Valentine’s Day if You’re Single

Alone on Valentine’s day? Don’t be! Just because you’re single on international date night, does not mean you have to be alone. This post is a follow-up of yesterday’s post: Valentine’s Day.

In this post I will provide you with some ideas of what you can do on Valentine’s day if you’re single.

Things to do on Valentine’s Day

Call a friend. It might sound like a phrase from Who wants to be a millionaire, but this time you’ll have more than 30 seconds with them. Invite a friend over and chill with some wine and a movie.
Have a single’s night in. Get out the drinks, snacks and board games. Or whatever tickles your fancy and make the most of the evening. That way none of you have to be alone.
Have a single’s night out. Yes, go out and have some fun.

You’re That Single

OK, so you’re the only single person within your group of friends and everyone has plans.

Best is to not go out alone and get smashed / hammered. That’s called risky business and it’s not the type of risky business you want to get into on Valentine’s day. Here’s what you can do instead:

Have a spa night. This Facial Mask Skin Care Beauty Gift Box has it all. From face masks to body lotions. It even includes a facial massager. Go pamper yourself!
Buy yourself a gift. Why not go all-out and get a that new perfume you’ve wanted for so long. You deserve it. Try Sweet like Candy by Ariana Grande
Get some take-out. No need to slave off in the kitchen on Valentine’s day just because you’re single. Get something you’ve been craving for a while. Get nasty.
Finally, to top off the evening, have some chocolates. Nothing beats Lindt chocolate truffles melting in your mouth.

Final Word for all the Singles out There

You’re not alone. Somewhere out there is another single having the time of their life. Put on a favorite movie, pamper yourself and enjoy the evening alone.

It’s a date night after all. You don’t get a lot of alone-time these days. Make the best of it and wake up the next morning with no regrets. Take yourself on a date. Wink. Wink.